It has been reported that repeatedly being bested by younger, less hairy competitors, may have finally pushed Ross J. to take drastic measures.Despite already sporting a healthy body, if not head, of hair, reports have begun to surface that Ross' recent move to Seattle pharmaceutical company, Dendreon, was really inspired by a desire to have access to all the drugs that never quite made the cut in trials. Specifically, Ross has been combing the discard pile for drugs with side effects that might allow him to grow a richer, more full bodied coat of body hair.
In private comments, Ross begins to unveil the details of his sinister plan. Said Ross, "I'm sick of this constant humiliation. I guess I have to accept that these whipper-snappers can grow a better mustache than I can, but I don't have to accept that they can grow MORE mustache. I'm winning this year even if it means needing to strip to show my entire mustache."
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